The Decisions She Made!!

How is it that in the beginning of a relationship a woman believes that she has met her solemate or someone that she can stand still with for as long as it exists, and then the next minute realize that she should have made a better choice. How many of us do this? Day in and day out I hear stories about making better choices.

I read an astrology book that said that people born on my day have a problems with letting the past be the past and remembering to look forward and accept your previous choices. I had to think about that for a moment. As I sat on the train the other day and ear hustled another great conversation between two friends, I realize that it is okay to live with the fact that I made certain decisions.

Now what??

Now it's time to make better decision. The old saying is "Patience is a Virtue"!!! I think that if we were to sit still longer and just be still, making a better choice might be clearer. In the course of a day I know that I have at least 1000 different thoughts. I think about stories, vacations, shoes, clothing, gossip and what is on my list for the day. And, those are just off the top of my mind currently. When do you have a moment to clear your mind and decide that this is the right decision for you?

The Right Decision

So, you made a decision that this is Mr. Right based off the fact that he is a good person. He smells good all the time. He can do the damn thing in the bedroom. He hangs around with the right crowd. He is very complimentary. He seems to have the right relationship with his family. Who wouldn't want this man?

And then you get deeper into the relationship and realize that there is more than meets the eye. The first thing is that you haven't actually seen him interact with his family. All you do is hear phone conversations and you listen to him explain all these situations about how he has to do everything for the family or else it would fade. He looks like the hero which makes for reason to get even deeper. Time passes and because you are a woman who has her own things going on, you realize that you and he only spend time together in certain places and certain times. (Your internal flag goes up but you still continue)

Months go by and then one day you decide that you want a more serious situation. You want the relationship to elevate to the next level. You want to be more involved in his life and then that moment of truth happens. He starts to respond in the opposite manner in which you thought he would. He starts to think of you as being clingy and to dependent. Then he hits that absolute no no and tells you that "you are starting to act regular" like all the other girls.

So what is your response. You go over and over your actions to figure out if you made the right move. Did you push to far? Are you really that girl?

Every woman has to make a decision as to whether or not he was her Mr. Right. And most likely in one lifetime, there are three Mr. Wrongs for every Mr. Right. Or who we think is going to be Mr. Right. So for now ladies let's not beat ourselves up for the decisions that we make or our friends make. Matters of the heart is no easy burden.

For those of you who have found their Mr. Right and have made that decision, congratulations. For those women who are still searching and have that decision to make, keep pushing forward and trust your instincts.


Special Thanks to all the women who allow me to ear hustle their conversations.

Sasha Lior
sashalior.blogspot.com

Dream On

I met a woman today who had no aspiration to make any more money than her current salary. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t comprehend it. I stood there looking at her waiting for more. I wanted her to say I am joking, I want so much more out of my life. But nothing, there was nothing. She just looked at me with that blank stare that makes you uncomfortable and so all you can do to break the ice is say something funny. “I went outside to shovel the snow the other day, fell backwards and came back inside. Suffice it to say, I was unsuccessful.” From that I turned around and walked back to my desk/office/cubicle.

I sat there wondering, how in the hell can you make $40,000 a year and be happy with that. Like what about the things that you want to do that require a little more? What about taking those yearly vacations with your lovie or your yearly girlfriend trip? What about just saying we are not going to cook tonight, let’s go out to dinner? I had to think back to previous conversations that we had. I then thought about her personality. She is always stressing out about not being able to buy anything new for herself or her home. She spends a lot of her time budgeting her money.

She has two young children. I asked her how often she took her children on vacation and she looked at me and said (very proudly I might add), they have been to Disney world and to Myrtle Beach. And again, as I stand here and wonder is that all, I realize that she is content. She has decided to be content with the fact that she earns just enough to stay above water, but not enough to really live life. What’s makes the story even more interesting is that her husband has been making the same amount of money for the last fifteen years. I guess the saying is true, “Birds of a feather flock together”.

I am left to wonder, “How many women live like this?” You mean to tell me that in this blue collar city I live in, people are so content to just keep their heads above water and not aspire to much more. How can a woman be content with that? How can you teach your children to be content with that? How can I even carry another conversation on with you knowing that this is your mentality? You mean you don’t fantasize about things you see in a magazine, or shoes you saw in a store window, or a dress you saw at a department store?

I can’t wrap my finger around it. I don’t even know if I can respect it. It is a hard pill for me to swallow. Every fiber in my being wants to grab her, hold her hostage and reprogram her brain into believing that she should want more. Mediocrity is soooooooooo overrated. I want her to attain a little more drive and go after more. But again, that would mean me dreaming for someone else.
I will dream big for her and hopefully one day (the near future I promise) she will look back at out short time together and realize she should dream big and dream more.

I will hold down dreaming for all of you who have given up and become content!!

S.L.

Sashalior.blogspot.com

P.S.

Before I posted this, I went back to have another conversation with this woman, only to find out that she does take a yearly girlfriend vacation to the same place every year. When I asked her why they don't deviate and try new islands, she says that the small island she visits is just enough for her comfort zone. (I may have a lot of work to do with this one!!)

La La Land

So I just had a thought. If we couldn't escape the reality of our lives either on a daily, weekly or monthly basis, than what would be the point. If I couldn't dream about my perfect universe then why dream. My dream universe would mean me getting up everyday, taking a long walk on the beach before my kids get up, coming back home to my beach house and making breakfast for my family, sending everyone off for their day, sitting with my freshly delivered Starbucks caramel and french vanilla mocha and a croissant (or chocolate donut, one that disappears and never lodges itself to your thighs), opening my laptop and writing something brillant everyday.





I could be writing articles, reviews, business plans, marketing plans, proposals, blogging, tweeting (my obsession) or working on my next book. Contrary to popular belief, I have a lot going on up there. At any given time, I may have a tv episode, mini movie, lifetime story or an actual movie playing in their.





My secret passion an obsession is writing and fashion.





So, my modern day La La Land is that I won't settle. I won't settle for just mediocre. I want it all. I want the husband, the beach house, the kids, the business and the author ending. I work hard daily. I work at achieving La La Land everyday.





My ex's father and my son's grandfather said to my brother recently that the reason his son and I didn't work out was because I wanted the glamorous life and that I was living in La La Land. Well my response to La La Land is that I want to be treated like I am the only thing that matters in the world to him. I want him to work as hard as I do about whatever his passion is.





I have already mentioned my perfect universe so all he needs to do is incorporate and fall into plan. I didn't say I wanted someone rich to just pay for my life. (I mean that would be great) But, do I want to eat out three to four times a week? Yes! Do I want five vacations a year? Yes! Do I want to live my life to the fullest while being in love? Yes!





Yes!Yes!Yes! I want La La Land and I won't stop until I get it. You shouldn't either!!!

The Sasha Chronicles

sashalior.blogspot.com

Where is my MR. BIG?

Who isn't secretly obsessed or pretending that they are carrie or one of the other ladies in the Sex and the City series. If we start from the beginning, we follow the relationship with big. Did it leave you looking back on your past relationships. Every woman or at least every woman I know has had a Mr. Big in their lives. Now, it may seem that this is unreal, but it is true. We may not have the Mr. Big who lives in New York City, has a great job in investments, wear Prada, Gucci and Dolce and Gabbana suits, has his own driver and has that naughty but sneaky but still a fabulous great smile. If only life could be that grand.

Let me take you to my Mr. Big. My Mr. Big was from New York. We fell in love at college. It was that crazy, addictive, "I can't believe that I did that shit" love. It was obssessive, compulsive, I need to have it every day love. That, when we were mad everyone else knew because it's not just our worlds that were colliding, everyone else we know could feel the magnitude of the collison. Friends would come to me in class and say, "please come and talk to him because he is not right." He won't eat, talk or go to class. He parents would call me to try and work it out.

There were days when I couldn't get out of bed if we werent talking. Remember the episode of Sex and the City when Carrie and the girls went to a ball game, she had just broken up with Big and she was out of it. The look on her face was priceless. I remember that look. I have had that look on my face several times.

Does this all sound to familiar.....

You know the guy that comes and goes back and forth in your life. It's not like you sit and wait for him to come back and forth, but for some reason that doors just stays open and he comes back and forth anyway. You wonder to yourself and say out loud to your girlfriends, I am a great, smart, funny, attractive, hard working and a very self sufficient person. Why can't he commit, why won't he marry me? Why can't he get it together? You allow him to come back and forth because deep inside you think, wish and pray that one day he will blink and realize that you are that great, smart, funny, attractive, hard working and a self sufficient person that he needs to be with.

You allow your Mr. Big to exist because the sex is amazing, or amazing enough that you think about so often that you can't wait to see him again. You allow him to exist because you love the way he always smells and the way he dresses and the way he smiles. You allow him to exist because he makes you laugh, he makes your curse, he makes your crazy, he gives you that orgasm every single time and you allow him to stay because he makes you feel complete.

On to the new Mr. Big or the Mr. Big right now....

Now, what I want and what every woman wants is the Mr. Big that carrie had in Season Six, part II. The Mr. Big that saves the day on the last episode and tells Carrie that she is the one. Am I asking for two much? All I want, 6'4", handsome physique, good in bed, knows how to cook, knows how to massage my feet, brings me flowers and treats me like he loves me. When he looks into my eyes I know without question that I am the most important thing in his life. Now, if a driver comes with it and a nice new york apartment than I am all for it.

Some person reading this chronicle entry is laughing out loud at the sheer thought of really wanting to be rescued by their ideal Mr. Big. Some women who have already found them are laughing at the few of us that are left in singletown still waiting and believe that this is not the way that we should expect to get them. Some women are thinking to themselves, these girls need to get their heads out of the clouds because it will never happen.

Well to all these lovely woman, I have to say that if I can keep a house, cook a mean meal, perform some great tasks where we lay and bring home a great addition to the bottom line, then yes I want it all. And, I will not remove myself from LaLa Land up in the clouds to please any of you. We want our Mr. Big and I will not stop until he rescues me.

Until next time.......

The Sasha Chronicles

I know some people have criticisms about my language, the fact that some words are missing or that this post cannot be reproduced for the new york times. Let me just say that I appreciate your comments and suggestions and I hope you continue to read these shorts with me. Enjoy the ride!!!